22yearguyvirgin
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posted on 02-25-2006 at 20:43 |
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know yourself
I don't know how to say this without it sounding a little dirty to some of you out there. There are some posts here against masturbation and I just don't want anyone to be afraid to get to know their body. It is important to know what is normal for your body so that you can see a doctor when something is wrong. Men need to do things like prostate exams and for women breast exams. Things like this are not dirty and are nothing to be ashamed of.
I also want to say to all those younger people out there that you may want to try asking your parents about sex. It may not seem like they want to tell you anything and it will be a little awkward but if you ask the questions most parents will answer honestly.
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melvaughn
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posted on 02-25-2006 at 21:49 |
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masturbation
I agree that masturbation is perfectly fine. If you use constant pornography as an aid everytime you masturbate, then maybe you have problems, but using masturbation to become comfortable with your body should be a prerequisite for anyone before marriage (if they are waiting) It's like the equivalent of giving yourself a breast examination. It also helps women overcome orgams difficulties, and there are hundreds of scientific and medical studies on the benefits of masturbation and the release of an orgams...it makes your body healthier in general.
Some christians like to connect masturbation with negativity and tie it in with other irrelavent and seperate issues like (porn, lust, addiction) Well, you can become addicted to watching T.V and eating as well, but should I tell someone to stop eating?
Masturbation also is 'calming and raises self-esteem'- a scienfic study I found on the net....so any negativity over mastubation is usually socially conditioned due to up-bringing and bad religious teachings.
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melvaughn
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posted on 02-25-2006 at 21:58 |
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Check-out this
Check out this study done by planned-parenthood on all of the health benefits of the release of an orgasm...(which obviously includes masturbation)
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/pp2/portal/files/portal/medicalinfo/sexualhealth/white-030401-sexual-expression.pdf
Cut and paste that link- the info is really fascinating. Plus I think there is too much negativity associated with sex and sexuality(pregnancy, STD's etc) It's all this 'doom and gloom' all the time. These studies show all the positive benefits to sexual expression.
Here's another link to a ' christian masturbation forum' where christians discuss their views on masturbation. It's very enlightening. Most are in agreement that the bible is silent on masturbation and that chrisians who believe it's wrong, are often believing lies about sex. If people carefully read the bible and what the people on this site say, you can no longer rationally think masturbation is wrong. And once you realize this, it's so incredibly 'freeing' and you'll never feel guilt again.
http://www.themarriagebed.com/boards/viewforum.php?f=42
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GradBoy
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Registered: 02-22-2006
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posted on 02-25-2006 at 22:01 |
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not really
Well I think not.. sorry but you haven't made enough researches.. by reading only one article is never enough. Aside religious beliefs, forcing a body to undego biological chage by such means is not healthy!
By the way, I have a question, will ya?
Is it true that in (Sate) high schools the sex-education includes all kind of birth control, but abstinence?
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melvaughn
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posted on 02-25-2006 at 22:12 |
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masturbation
'Well I think not.. sorry but you haven't made enough researches.. by reading only one article is never enough. Aside religious beliefs, forcing a body to undego biological chage by such means is not healthy!
By the way, I have a question, will ya?
Is it true that in (Sate) high schools the sex-education includes all kind of birth control, but abstinence?'
Gradboy, visit this site, and read what other Christians have to say about masturbation. If you don't feel it's right for your OWN life then it's not right for YOU, but please don't make misinformed and sweeping generalizations for other people, especially when you don't back anything up with proff or evidence.
http://www.themarriagebed.com/boards/viewforum.php?f=42
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GradBoy
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Registered: 02-22-2006
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posted on 02-26-2006 at 00:14 |
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how lucky
Congratulations, you read a single article in your life and proved a very valuable [!] act.. so it seems helpful on you huh?
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22yearguyvirgin
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posted on 02-26-2006 at 02:38 |
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Please be civil
First of all my original post wasn't about masturbation. I didn't mean masturbation by saying explore your body. I just mean don't be afraid to get to know your own body and how everything normally looks and feels. It can help you to know when something is wrong.
Now then. Please, Gradboy, if you can find the time please find some sources to post in your own support. I've been looking for several hours now. Everything I've found in support of your posts has been religiously baised, based on theories from before the 1960s (much of the theories about masturbation before the 60s was based off of inferenses made be physicians at mental hospitals that believed that the insane patients' excessive masturbation lead to their conditions but this is a little like saying a headache caused a tumor. Think about it. The insane have no inhibitions so they therefore will do what feels good to them.) or based on self diagnosed patients (many of which suffered from depression which is more than likely the underlying cause of many of their problems). By far the sites that I found were actually supportive of masturbation or undecided to it being good or bad. Many of these sites were actually religious.
This is nothing to get in a fight over. For the most part it is a personal decision and as such will be highly opinionated for most everyone. However, I will say that anything if overdone is not healthy.
I also want to mention a few things about female sexuality. Studies have shown that some women can actually have an orgasm from repeated sneezing. Also, some infections can cause a woman to be incredibly sensitive and can lead the rubbing of clothing to cause orgasms. Would you consider this masturbation? There are few differences between sex and masturbation so anytime you make a statement about masturbation it most certainly would carry over to sex.
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22yearguyvirgin
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posted on 02-26-2006 at 03:12 |
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School
Is it true that in (Sate) high schools the sex-education includes all kind of birth control, but abstinence?
Sate? I'm guessing you mean public schools. If this is so then yes most public schools that have a sex education program do not include abstinence information into their descussions (abstinence is mostly thought to be a religious decission in the U.S.). In fact many schools don't have a sexual education program.
Sorry if my spelling is getting worse. I'm a bit tired.
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liz25
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posted on 02-26-2006 at 10:53 |
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Masturbation
I have an interesting story that will might help people get over their inhibitions about masturbation....by the way, the 'health link' that melvaughn posted is accurate and true.
I majored in Human sexuality at the University of Waterloo, and my professor showed our class that exact article as completely relevant information. Endorphines are released during masturbation (similar to when you exercise) and will produce a calming and relaxed sensation which leads to better health, longivity, self-esteem. (trust me after studying this at school for the past three years, i'm well informed and melvaughn, is totally right with the planned parenthood article) And there is not only ONE article, there are HUNDREDS of these types of scientific and empirical studies that have been done in 2006.
Now for my story: It's is very IMPORTANT, that women especially learn to masturbate if they want to stay a virgin until marriage. My close friend had major inhibitions, never touched herself once and wasn't comfortable with her body. Well, she found it soooo difficult to have sex after marriage. She couldn't have sex for SIX months, because she had never explored the inside of her vagina...it's very important for women to practice stretching exercises before marriage, so that penetration is not as painful. She also wen't almost 10 years of marriage, never experiencing an orgasm. She finally seeked therapy and her doctor recommended masturbation. It wasn't until she masturbated that she finally experienced an orgasm and her sex-life improved 100%
I hope most guys know that most women CANNOT reach orgasm through intercourse. They need clitoral stimulation. And women can often only learn to orgasm if they are in-tune with their bodies, in which they can THEN show the guy what they find pleasurable. I'd hate to see people end up in a sexless marraige or with orgasm difficulties because of some old-fashion lies.
Also, isn't it interesting that women's clitoris, is designed for pleasure ONLY...that is it's only purpose and how interesting that it's placed on the outside of the vagina within easy access. And why do our arms fall within perfect lengh of our genitals if we weren't suppose to masturbate?
I know hundreds of very healthy, well-adjusted individuals who have been masturbating for years and have NO ailments.
Gradboy, why do you think catholic priests end up abusing little boys? It's not because they are gay, but because of their unnatural celibacy (no masturbation) makes them break-down. It's not healthy or natural.
If a grown man has never in his life ever felt any sexual urges to masturbate, they are most likely ASEXUAL...surprisingly this is more common than you'd think. 1 in every 20 people have an aversion toward sex and a non-existent sex drive......(according to my text-book)
but I want to know that my future husband masturbates....it shows me they have a healthy and well-developed sex drive. I'm not waiting until marriage so I can have sex once a month with the lights out in the missionary position... Being a virgin doesn't mean you don't have the same urges as everyone else.
people shouldn't fall on either end of the extreme. You shouldn't DEVALUE sex by sleeping with everyone you meet but humans are sexual beings and you shouldn't fall on the opposite end of the pole either...because both will lead to negative consequences.
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melvaughn
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posted on 02-26-2006 at 11:02 |
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thanks
Wow, thanks for all the info liz25. I also took a class on human sexuality in school and have read more than just one article on the matter. I wrote an undergrad paper on the subject when I was in school and interviewed numerous different doctors on the subject. All of them mentioned the health benefits of having regular orgasms through masturbation and the longitudinal studies that show an increase in longevity and an increase in overall well-being.
It's also common for infants and babies as old as six months to start masturbating. It's a natural an inbred function. I began masturbating when I was about 3 years old, and right now I'm as healthy as ever!! I'm sooo glad I have no hang-ups about sex!
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liz25
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posted on 02-26-2006 at 11:27 |
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Just to add
I'd also like to add that the more you learn to pleasure yourself and give yourself an orgasm, the easier you'll reach orgasm through sex with your spouse. The pleasure you learn through masturbation is like a stepping stone into intercourse. Women who don't know how to acheive an orgasm while single, most likely will not orgasm through intercourse either. When you get really good, the man can train his body to last longer by 'stopping and starting' the masturbation cycle, he can learn to 'control' his orgasm so he will be able to TIME when it happens. The women can also learn these techniques. All this is very beneficial to your future spouse.
Also, sex toys and vibrators are very useful for the women once you are married. It's so rewarding to see the women enjoying sex and getting pleasure as equally as the man and vibrators are made to stimulate the clitoris in ways a penis cannot. This will make sex, more fulfilling since I can only imagine how boring to have sex with a women who just lies there getting no pleasure, waiting for it to be over. Unless there are some men who don't take into account the wife's plesure. In the 50's it was believed that only men experienced sexual pleasure and that the female orgasm did not exist.
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liz25
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posted on 02-26-2006 at 11:49 |
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masturbation
Gradboy...why are you so afraid to masturbate? Is it because you don't feel any sexual urges? Or you think you'll get some kind of ailment? Don't you think adults in their 40/50's who have been masturbating for years (sometimes three times a day) would be suffering from some kind of disease by now..haha.(I feel ridiculous writing this)
So do you think oral sex in a marriage is wrong and dirty as well? And that doing this is harmful? What about sex in different positions? I'm just curious about what you find acceptable, sexually once you are married. What about mutual masturbation once you are married? Many couples perfom this act when they are married...are they also going to go blind and suffer from some kind of ailment by masturbating each other? Since having your wife masturbate you is the equivalent of doing it yourself, I assume this will also cause GRAVE problems.
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melvaughn
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posted on 02-26-2006 at 12:50 |
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haha... liz25, that's funny
Actually, it's funny but when I'm studying for a mid-term or test, I find masturbating, gets rid of my stress, helps me relax, and actually improves my concentation and memory afterwards. I was just thinking back on how every test I aced was when I masturbated while studying..haha
I say, do what ever works for you. No one should impose their rules or what they feel is right or wrong on someone else. Everyone has different tastes in food/clothing and people will have different sexual desires and needs and what doesn't work for someone, will be perfect for others.
Also, animals not only masturbate, but many animals, like adult gorillas for instance perform oral sex on each other. I actually witnessed this once at the zoo...I thought it was beautiful and totally natural.
I've posted this link before but if anyone is contemplating waiting until marriage you can read others' experiences with sex and sexual compatiblity on the honeymoon (since they were all virgins when they married) This discussion is called "What to expect before marriage" I find it interesting to read since alot of people give virgins a hard time about sexual compatiblity but this site proves otherwize based on their personal stories of what happened on the wedding night!!!!
http://www.themarriagebed.com/boards/viewforum.php?f=28&sid=a32ddfd10b465729964ba5b0c57e15c0
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Kate10
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posted on 02-26-2006 at 13:49 |
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thanks for the link
Thanks for the link. I just browsed around on the site, and it's nice to know that it's possible for virgins to get married and have active sex lives later on. I like the thread on "creative sex ideas" It's nice to know that just because you're a christian doesn't mean you'll be boring, or unadventourous in bed. (For some reason I was assuming that all Christians were Prudes.) and also just because you waited until marriage doesn't mean you'll be frigid....
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melvaughn
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posted on 02-26-2006 at 13:52 |
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Your welcome
Glad you visited the link and found it helpful. Unfortunatly, Christians who are prudish are ones who get caught-up in legalism.
This site is more liberal, and it shows that you can wait until marriage, have a high sex drive, be sexually compatible and have a great sex life for years, with no problems that others like to 'pretend' virgins will run into
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dreamangel
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posted on 02-26-2006 at 16:56 |
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Hello
I just happened to find this site and I would like to add to this discussion. Masturbation saved my marriage literally. I was the 'inhibited' type who never wen't near my vagina. My husband also had never masturbated either and didn't want me to ever touch my clitoris. Sex was total hell. My husband would last, 3 seconds. He would thrust in once and it would be over before I had a chance to blink. He then, refused to stimulat my clit, telling me this was what sex was suppose to me like. I was miserable for years. I finally convinced him to see a sex therapist, and our therapist had to literally, teach us how the body worked and told us to masturbate. Let me tell you, people are in for a huge shock, if they think they can hop into a marriage, never having gone near their body and then assume they'll be having multiple orgasms.
Once we both learned to masturbate, my husband was able to last longer during intercourse. He practiced the 'starting and stopping' technique liz mentioned. He would also masturbate an hour before we made-love which also helped him last longer. Masturbating increased our sex-drive which made us want to have sex more often. It also gave us more pleasurablable sensations when we did have sex. Each orgasm would get more intense because, we were practising through masturbation.
I learned that I had an entire world of untapped pleasure that was totally unexplored. I learned how to give myself an orgasm through masturbation. After a year of this, I learned to actually orgasm through intercourse alone (Which was a huge accomplishment) I then discovered my g-spot...I was amazed and so glad I seeked help. Otherwize I would have spent my whole life, thinking, "well, women just don't enjoy sex" How terrible that would have been and how terrible that some men and women will get married, and never experience an orgasm their entire life, because of some old wives tales about self-pleasure.
Also, since my husband and I began masturbating, we've felt healthier, younger, more exuberant....because we are actually having orgasms, now. It gives you a glow, it helps you sleep better at night, it even helps mentrual cramps and it took away the depression I suffered through.
Please don't spend your entire life, never knowing your own sexuality. This doesn't mean you can't wait until marriage, but be prepared. Read books, know how the male/female body works, be familiar with the genitals of the female body and viceversa (I don't want anyone to make the mistake I made) and have to suffer for it. Women's bodies are much more complicated than a man's. You wouldn't throw someone behind a car and expect them to know how to drive would you? When a women touches their body they begin to feel more comfortable with themselves and their own sexuality/body which is what raises their confidence and their ability to feel pleasure during intercourse.
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liz25
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posted on 02-26-2006 at 17:34 |
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hey
You sound just like my friend. I'm so glad you got help.
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GradBoy
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Registered: 02-22-2006
Location: Va
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posted on 02-26-2006 at 17:48 |
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Hold on, let me show you all wrong really!!
First of all, I'm very glad that there are some active people using this forum; though with wrong information
Second, now I have plenty of people fight against; no problem, never lost any scientific debate though. Not a problem for this case either.. think about how certainty [!] on Ortho Evra failed last month.. and became uncertain or much detrimental.
Anyway, may I ask for a little patience; I have to finish 10 homework where each take 4 hours intensive study without any motivation it's hard, but by making a promise to a friend helping with the same homework problems, I actually made a trick to force myself study, let me exhaust this motivation first, then will clear up this issue
I like you all,
Cheers.
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liz25
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posted on 02-26-2006 at 17:59 |
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Hmmmm
hmmm, you keep side stepping giving us your info??? I don't think you can dispute personal stories. How much more evidence do you need? There is plenty of 'so-called' scientific mumbo jumbo stuff that gets circulated, but the test is to go by your own personal life. I think, if not masturbating works for you, then that is good for you, but look how helpful it has been for other people. You can't paint everyone with the same brush. You can't force your lifestyle on to someone else. 95% of people masturbate and they've been masturbating for millions of years. People use to burn witches at the stake when they had mental problems. I get the feeling your theories on masturbation our very similar.
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GradBoy
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Registered: 02-22-2006
Location: Va
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posted on 02-26-2006 at 18:46 |
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answer to hmmm
Liz,
As you say your findings are all "personal" and moreover they are only "stories".. so no further benefits that you can also claim for majority.
I'm here not to spread my own believes, neither I'm here to show it didn't work for me, cuz for someone who never ever bothered to come close to such horrible, discussing and yet nasty stuff.. you can't tell it didn't work for me, by the way what should work for godsake? if I see a scorpion on a friend I will tell him to get rid of; but that's his decision to listen or refuse.
I am also afraid, youngs reading those above misleading posts will actually be affected to some extent, and will probably say 'oh then mas..bating is actually good and healthy' which infact is NOT!!
I'm not trying to persuade someone to something. I just want people to analyse things before they do it. You can't always get exact scientific facts you need to refrain from.. But you always free to use your own magical and truthful judge; the conscience and conscience never lies!! Let just your conscience talk and decide, then you will see if that's right! ..... there you go
Nevertheless, I will try to present all scientific facts and rulings that masturbation is actually harmful, unnecessary and unnatural! Then I will tell all my experiences that I got from some of my students.. then I will tell you something extremely important that hopefully will make you refrain, or at least think on it.
Again, life is yours, wasting it or not it's totally your decision.. spend it as you wish.
I gotta go, friends calling me for lemon-tea.. I love it much.
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22yearguyvirgin
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posted on 02-27-2006 at 01:20 |
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I HATE MAKING UP TITLES
Please Gradboy choose your words more wisely. Some of your statements are likely to make you get a lot more hostility than you will like. I don't know if you mean to come across this way or not.
Again, life is yours, wasting it or not it's totally your decision.. spend it as you wish.
Statements like this make you sound like you are trying to force your views on others. Saying that someone is wasting their life if they don't live the same way you do is not likely to gain you any fans.
Second, now I have plenty of people fight against; no problem, never lost any scientific debate though.
Statements like this make you sound like you have a superiority complex. That is a very undesirable point of view.
Gradboy I am not going to directly tell you that you are wrong as that would be rude but until you can post some evidence please be a little more humble. You're coming across as a little over confident. Also, please try to use bolding and CAPITALIZATION sparingly as it is the equivalent of yelling.
I have spent a great deal of time in the last 4 years researching medicine, psycology and human sexuality online. I have never found a valid study showing masturbation to be physically damaging (unless you count damage from rubbing too hard.  I know its a little bit of a dirty joke but this string needs to lighten up a little).
Liz25, I agree with most everything you have posted. However, I personally don't think that most women cannot achieve an orgasm through intercourse. I feel like there are two reasons why most women don't achieve orgasm through intercourse. First, most men don' t take the time to learn how to do such things. Second, many women are inhibited about their sexuality and do not allow themselfs to be comfortable. Did you know that there are some women who claim that they can achieve orgasm without any physical stimulation. I remember a woman in one forum stating that she could have any orgasm by crossing her legs and willing it on (she bragged about doing it at work from time to time). Sex is more mental than it is physical so some people can reach an orgasm without genital stimulation. I will worn you that the next few sentences will sound discusting but are true. There are some men that like to go into crowds and brush against (and I don't mean private parts) women (or I guess men if thats what they like) and orgasm from the tactile sensation. I find sexuality fascinating so I enjoy learning everything I can about it. I grew up with few inhibitions in my family about sexuality and my mother was open about it. I don't feel like anyone should be afraid of their sexuality. I don't mean try to have sex with anything that moves (I happen to believe in virgin marriage) but a person should feel free to discuss it. There is nothing disgusting about sex and it can be a beautiful experience under the right circumstances.
Melvaughn, I agree with everything you have said as well. Thank you for posting a few link. Though I must admit I have yet to look at them thoroughly.
dreamangel, it is good that you got some help. Every person needs to learn what they like so that they can help their partner along. No matter how close two people are in life they still both have very different bodies and will require some help getting to know each other.
Kate 10, not all Christians are prudish. In resent decades there has been a bit of sexual revolution in the church as Christians realized that there is nothing in the Bible that is a deterent to enjoying sex after marriage. Many people quote the song of songs as proof that God intended us to enjoy sex.
I did a great deal of searching yesterday and found a lot of interesting materials (I will post some links at request. I would have already posted some but I wanted to give Gradboy a chance first.). There was something I found very interesting called "The Monk's disease". Its kind of an arguement for masturbation. Its a little old and the causes are still not certain though. Just type "Monk's disease" prostatitis into a search engine to find out a little about it.
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GradBoy
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Registered: 02-22-2006
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posted on 02-27-2006 at 04:46 |
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thanks for great hospitality
22guy,
quote:
I would have already posted some but I wanted to give Gradboy a chance first.)
thanks, but what do you expect for someone who is in his superiority complex and not humble at all?
it was my fault to come across this forum,
bye.
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melvaughn
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posted on 02-27-2006 at 16:21 |
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Masturbation
Thanks guyvirgin22 for being a bit more 'sane' and rational in your answers. This forum was starting to scare me..haha
Gradboy, you said, you've never lost a 'scientific debate' yet you refuse to post any evidence, most likely because it's not scientific. Most recent scientific info approves of masturbation. Since Alfred Kinsey broke out in the 50's, he shed a whole new light on sex and masturbation with emprical and objective studies.
Plus, by saying you "shouldn't have found this forum" shows you are close-minded...you can't use words like (unnatural, dirty, and unhealthy) without backing it up with VERY good evidence otherwize no one is going to believe you. Besides, you can't expect everyone to have the exact same opinion as you, otherwize, they'd all be miserable and in a sexless marriage, scared of their own body. My opinion is that if people think masturbation is soooo dirty, there is a good chance they will think sex is also dirty, and will have sex once a month, with the lights out, and 'get it over with'...how depressing to live your life like that.. That's not what marriage was meant for.
Also, you never answered any of Liz25 questions. Are you Asexual? Will mutual masturbation (in a marriage) also cause diseases and ailments, since mutual masturbation after marraige has the same qualities as solo-masturbation.
I have taken human sexuality courses in University, and I'm familiar with the statistics. The higher educated you are in school, the more comfortable you will be with masturbation and the more frequently you will masturbate. Usually because you are educated and don't believe the outdated myths.
As for vaginal orgasms...It is acutally very rare in most women. Only about 30% of women can orgasm without clitoral stimulation. In some people it could be mental, but it's physical as well. Besides the g-spot which takes effort to find (and not all women respond to it) the vaginal canal has NO nerve endings. There is next to no sensation, (which being a women I can tell you is TRUE) The women who accidentally orgasm while crossing their legs, are probably having clitoral orgasms (since the clitoris is on the outside) not vaginal. Not to say that vaginal ones don't exist, but they are hard and take years of practice. Although I've also heard of cervix orgasms which occur only through intercourse. But, in a survey I read, about 85% of women ALWAYS orgasm with clitoral and only 30% through intercourse.
And most women do not masturbate with 'insertion' because, like I said, there is just not a lot of 'sensation'...it's very unfair!!! A lot of women I know, prefer oral sex (because it ensures an orgasm everytime) to intercourse in which most will not orgasm. Especially since it takes women a lot longer to orgasm than a man.
But check out the links I posted. (The marriage bed) link is about virgin marriages, yet everyone on the forum is very open and they all have high sex drives and they give tips and techniqes on how to improve- and most were virgins when they married yet arn't repressed which is nice to see. Also I hate how sex is always linked to negativity. In 'sex ed' class when I was in grade 4, the teachers seem to try and scare you with (STD, Aids, Pregnancy) and leave out anything positive, which is wrong. The link to "planned parenthood" is recent, done by a group of researchers, and they spent years doing experiments on people of all ages, and their results are empirical and give a positive spin on sexuality. It will make people want to have a healthy sex life once they are married because of all the benefits that were found.
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liz25
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posted on 02-27-2006 at 16:41 |
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scary
"cuz for someone who never ever bothered to come close to such horrible, discussing and yet nasty stuff.."
You hit the nail on the head with this comment. If you have never EVER in your entire life masturbated, your opinions are biased. How would you know about the benefits or so called 'lack of them' if you've never experienced masturbation before? You are obviously believing some very persistent, brainwashed lies and using your 'own life' to judge others' due to a low sex drive. Most teenage boys will naturally experiment with masturbation at some time in their life, because sex is an inbred and physical/biological necessity. If you've never experienced any urges there is something wrong.
Then you use your own low sex drive (possibly asexual) as a base for your arguments and make universal statements for ALL other people. ...I can really think of no other cause but this.
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melvaughn
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Registered: 06-30-2005
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posted on 02-27-2006 at 18:20 |
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re
"I just want people to analyse things before they do it"
Yes, but are you analyzing everything properly? You have a one-sided opinion. I'm betting you haven't even read any of the links that were posted. You would rather shut your eyes to anything but what you believe.
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dreamangel
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Registered: 02-26-2006
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posted on 02-27-2006 at 18:45 |
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Stories??
"As you say your findings are all "personal" and moreover they are only "stories".. so no further benefits that you can also claim for majority. "
Poor gradboy, we are picking on him..but I guess he brought it on himself. What exactly are you a grad of? What did you study? if you don't mind me asking.
There is a difference between stories that are fictional and real-life, experiences. My experience with masturbation was not 'just a story' It was very real, and I'm very convicted that if I hadn't discovered masturbation I would have stayed miserable. It not only made me more confident, but I felt more attractive and comfortable with my body once I learned that the human genitals are not some disease, we should be scared to touch!!
And as for the 'endorphines' released during an orgasm...isn't that just common knowledge?? I assumned everyone knew that.
Also, gradboy, do you believe sex is for procreation only? Because if you have such an aversion/discust toward touching your genitals then that is usually a sign of a much deeper issue. A councillor could probably get to the root of these problems. If you feel discust toward your body/genitals then I assume you won't let your future wife touch your body/genitals either....your attitude is going to carry over into your marriage, just to warn you.
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22yearguyvirgin
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Registered: 01-18-2006
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posted on 02-28-2006 at 00:50 |
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I still HATE making titles
Gradboy, you don't have to leave. I didn't mean anything to be offensive. I just wanted you to realize that the way you worded things sometimes is a little overbearing.
Melvaughn, I don't mean to say that every woman should be able to reach orgasm through normal intercourse. I just feel like more women could if given the right conditions. I don't think that most men spend enough time trying to please their partner. We guys are easy. A little rubbing and its over but women require a lot more attention. Also there are some positions that I've heard do apply some amount of clitoral stimulation, though I haven't research it much. I have spent a great deal of time researching female sexuality and have seen many of the things you have mention but have never found much statistical data. Thank you for posting some statistics. May I ask where you found them? I worry a lot about when I am married because I want to make my wife's first time (well actually every time) as magical an experience as I can so anything that I can learn from I am glad to read.
Liz25, I just want to say that a low to nonexistent sex drive doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with them. There have been many people that have lived a full, happy, and productive life without every having any sexual desires (I have found a few celibacy sites dealing with these kind of people). It is believed the reason that there are few people with a low sex drive is because people with higher sex drives should breed more and therefore will have more children. However, just having a consistently low sex drive is not by any means a sign of an ailment. When there is a fear of sexuality at the root of a person's low sex drive then there is a problem and the person should probably seek some psycological help under those circumstances.
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liz25
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Registered: 02-26-2006
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posted on 02-28-2006 at 11:49 |
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low sex drive = most common sexual dysfunction
While I agree that people are born with varying degrees of a sex-drive but to have a non-existent sex drive is NOT something people are naturally born with. I'm not saying it isn't possible to have a happy life with a non-existent sex drive, but I don't think it's natural to be born with an aversion or disgust toward sex. Not to mention, having no sex drive would seriously hinder and alter any if not ALL of your romantic relationships.
Having no sex drive is listed in the DMS-medical directory of disorders. It's called 'sexual desire disorder'. Another is an 'aversion disorder' And most of these disorders make the person's life miserable which is why so many drugs and therapy are available for these people. I believe these sexual dysfunctions develp due to circumstances. I've read that perfomance anxiety, erectile dysfunctions, and other related problems can condition a person to develop an aversion toward sex and combined with a strict, religious, guilt-ridden environment can shape the way a person views their sexuality which can lower their sex-drive. In adult women, it was found that women who had an aversion to sex or hated sex, had many psychological issues like a sexually abusive past.
As long as people are born with properly functioning genitals they should respond in a sexual way- like you said earlier, sex and the ability to orgasm is mostly mental. Unless someone is physically disabled in someway, having no sex-drive is usually a sign of other,
(mostly psychological) issues.
But, I was mostly referring to not liking when people (gradboy) use their own life and their own experiences as a judgment for everyone else. And how interesting that he disappears as soon as he is challenged: If he were truly confident or had a strong argument, he would have jumped at the opportunity to show us we were wrong. But I really don't think he had much of any info.
Here are Some related threads on sexual desire disorders:
http://www.behavenet.com/capsules/disorders/dsm4TRclassification.htm#Sexual
http://health.yahoo.com/centers/sexual_health/2067
http://www.webmd.com/content/article/12/1685_50118.htm
http://www.diagnose-me.com/cond/C477282.html
http://marriage.about.com/cs/lowsexdrive/a/2malelowlibido.htm
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GradBoy
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Registered: 02-22-2006
Location: Va
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posted on 02-28-2006 at 19:15 |
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Back for a while
Dear 22Guy,
First of all, you made me very upset by your previous post; you came up with personal prejudice you don't have a single idea about; tried to pull out my personality from some phrases, forgetting that looking at world with your own glasses will show only your-glass-color-painted world. Upon reading that message, It made me spent whole night analysing myself over and over again, whether I really have any complexity or character disorder; and find you totally wrong in your assumptions. Neither "never losing a scientific debate" shows any kind of complexity, but factual experience; nor saying "fight back against" stands for any kind of immoral, but making forum discussions interesting and getting rid of boredom. On the other hand, you calling yourself a "christian scientist" and meanwhile not living (abstaining from M = masturbation) shows deep complexity of your own. Anyway, let it go, maybe in time we will come together in some common values, and I will be glad to be your friend (if you likeso, please, do not toss on me for a while, look above I have many people fight against :))
Now, dear virgin ladies and gentlemen who perform M,
You already have chosen your life-route and pleasure methods. Maybe, it will be hard to confront with any side effects of M, since knowing the detriments of your causal habits, would make you feel pain. That's why you rely on some scientific facts [!] proposed by two or three studies (we see only 3 or 4 active minds speaking on favor of M, and all others refer to them). Moreover, science did not say the last word on M. There is no rigorous psycological, physicological or sociaological research have done! Remember, Newton was the ultimate authority and certain[!] during his time, but now we see his theory nothing but a junk.. well, very limited version of much general theory The General Relativity.. The most brilliant brain, Eistein, was against Quantum Mechanics with his dunken experiments.. time showed he was WRONG.. even in the medical science, as I mentioned before, about OrthoEvra, now doctors changed their mind!.. what I'm saying is science is unstable and not fully reliable and didn't utter the last word.. day by day we see old things leave please to totally different conclusions.. roof above unstable fundamental won't hang for long.. So the best doctor, the best judge, the best friend is your own conscience! It never lies, unless you disregard it. Ask him before you do a thing.. just turn it on and you won't be able to kill an ant!
Your frequent behaviours or acts that actually conflict with your internal structure (conscience), It psychologically biases you to hold firmly on 'conformable info' found. Think about this, a believer who commits a sin over and over would want non-existence of God; since it's hard to know someone watching you unwanted.. and whenever he finds even a weak evidence (if there is any) proving non-existence, then he sticks to that idea firmly..later becomes even an atheist..
Dreamangel,
Among all of post, you made a brilliant argument about the mutual M. It is very appreciated to have any kind of mutual sexual pleasure, of course under marriage. The difference between solo M and M driven by wife to her husband, or vice versa is psychologically fine (as far as I see). Using any kind of mutual method normal and natural (excluding one, I won't mention it here, it will bring up a whole new discussionSo, my Dreamangel, you are out of scope of this discussion, enjoy your sexual life. Since I'm not asexual at all, I wish I could enjoy it as well. By the way someone who is physically very strong -researches show such men usually have much sexual drive- as well. So, that's meRefraining from: looking at any kind of nudity, reading sexually bombarded expressions/books/stories, watching triple-R rated movies (no such rating though, explicit sexual scenes in films led to special new-ratings by some websites) don't light on your sexual ignitions. Anyway, you're out of our discussion, let's make you a judge among us
Dear Liz25,
I'm neither afraid nor refused to provide any evidences against M. I won't do any such un-ethical behaviour. By the way, you made logically wrong expressionby saying if you never done, you wouldn't know it.. do you have to taste poison to say whether it's harmful or not? though I like your approach, it made me smile. Thank you muchBut I didn't understand why it's scary? Not doing something that I believe is unnecessary, is not scary at all and it doesn't make you frigid either and I think none of my friends tried it, 8 of my university friends are married and all are already having cute babies Liz25, I don't use my own life experiences to judge others, I'm not a Freud (who spent his life in a toilet doing self-tests)... I just find immoral and unnecessary! and where nowhere else, except States, I heard virgins doing it..well at least majority. Cultures where I lived (6 different now) didn't have such inclination (I think so..) Again, if you want to perform it, it's your decision. Further, you mentioned about the catholic priests being celibacy and meanwhile ending up abusing little boys.. I just find those priests (they don't deserve this name though) pathetic and scisophrenic.. I know no | | | |
