Many American men complain that they went to Russia and got taken to the cleaners by unscrupulous local women. They post articles on the Web warning other American men not to go there and are telling all sorts of horror stories. Here is my advice on what to do if you like Russian women and are planning to tie your destiny with them and consequently, their country. If you follow this advice, you will maximize your chances of having a normal relationship there which will grow into true love and which will last a lifetime. Please keep in mind the following points:
1) There are gold diggers there, but about as many as in the US or many other countries. However, if you are a money-oriented person, and think that you will impress people with your money- you will attract just that- a person who will use you for your money. Isn’t it logical? Many Americans are money-driven, and they think that if they are successful businessmen and are into careers, Russian women will like them. In other words, they approach Russian women the way they would approach American women.” I am this and that and I have this car and this house, do you like me now?” Sure, a gold digger will be the one who likes you. Then, do not complain when you get taken for a ride.
In Russia, as a rule, a foreigner could not get by with just his native language and score with the local girls. It would be impossible. One had to speak Russian. So it would be with you. You are in their country that is ‘temporarily’ in a political/economical trouble. But they are developing awful fast and getting richer by the year. So, if you go there thinking you do not have to learn the language or the local culture because you are a big shot American “savior”, you will be taken for a ride. And then, who do you have to blame? Think about if a rich Arab or a rich Japanese would go to the US, and then not speak English and think that because he is rich he should not follow the local culture/learn the local language, and that he could date local girls and score with them. Good luck! He would probably just get a hooker that would take him to the cleaners. And who would be to blame?
Or think about you being a rich New Yorker going to the South and trying to show off- “ I am a rich Yankee, Come on you miserable rednecks, give me your girls, I will save them from the horrors of the Appalachia!” See how long you will last before you get shot!
When you go to Russia, you need to speak Russian. Broken Russian will do. But speak the bloody language, please! Take some courses. Buy books, study their culture and go there to try to fit in. People there generally like foreigners from the West provided they try and adopt themselves to the local culture. Otherwise you will just attract a gold digger.
This is what the girls there are attracted to for the most part:
1) Your looks. I mean it. Do not be fat. If you are balding, think of a hair transplant or any kind of hair replacement. Do not dress in sneakers and jeans. It means you do not think appearances matter. Look good. Dress well, for heaven’s sake! Have some class in clothes and footwear. The more of a gentleman you look, the more they will like you.
2) Your personality.
a) In America you need to blow your horn and act independent and arrogant to show you are somebody. Not there. You need to be humble. This is what they like. Polite and friendly, too.
b) Be a humorist. I mean it. Joke, act like a clown sometimes. They love clowns ( in moderation, of course). They absolutely go crazy if you have a sense of humor, are witty and can crack a few jokes here and there.
c) Have some talent. If you play a musical instrument, and sing songs, that will awe them. If when you go out you can play the piano or the guitar and sing songs, particularly Russian songs, you will conquer the girls in a heartbeat. They will be yours! I mean it. If you are an artist, show them your art. They will be awe-struck!
d) Be a happy and positive guy, and jovial as well, Create parties there. Take them to restaurants. Be romantic. Take walks by the river or in the woods with them. Buy them some little things. Flowers and all. Write some cute notes and send them those. They will melt!
e) Be intelligent/intellectual. Try and have conversations on all sorts of different topics. Politics ( Russian politics in particular, arts, literature, etc) Take them to a museum and show them you enjoy arts and all. Study about Russian artists, poets, quote them ( in Russian, please).
3) Only after that comes your career. And please talk sparingly about it. Show them that you work to live and not live to work.
The Russians are not a Germanic civilization. They are Slavs. In a way, they are closer to Latins than Anglo- Saxons. Soul is what matters to them, not the anal behavior that so many people of Anglo- Saxon countries display. Some Russian girls who marry Brits complain that they ( the Brits) are as cold as dead fish and just work. They are anally retentive- “just like “Nazis”. If the women get no warmth or humanity out of a husband, but just business and money and anal-ism- being overly punctual, being a cleanliness freak, a stickler to details and all that, your relationship may fall apart. Please read up on their culture before you go and try and act their way, not your way. If you think you can get something without giving up something, you are dead wrong. You may have to give up some of the American habits and behavior if you want to accommodate them, and want them to fall in love with you.
When you act like them( displaying the good aspects of them- soulfulness, humor, friendliness and communality, romanticism, artistic-ity, aestheticism, culture, refinement, depth of thinking, poetic dreaminess), you will attract the good in them and find a very nice woman among them with whom you will chime. And who will love you eternally. However, if you go there and do not make adjustments, are always in a hurry, always talking about business and money, do not respect their ways, and do not learn Russian, you will only find the woman that is interested in a money-making man- in other words, “an American woman from Russia”, so to speak. And then, don’t start posting on the Internet about how you got taken to the cleaners.
I will challenge you to find even one American man who went to Russia, learned the language, met the girls the natural way in their environment, speaking their language and following their social rules, who got taken to the cleaners by a gold digger. Impossible!. But arrogant fat ( oftentimes, nor figuratively) cats , who were throwing money around, speaking English only and acting like they were God’s gift to Russia went down big time. Their country? Their rules. Don’t ever think you will be an exception to that principle.
If you are, however, a lupine businessman type whose only interest is making big bucks and who has no time for soulfulness, humor, culture and romantic aestheticism, don’t go to Russia. Your choice should be Chinese girls. From China, Singapore, Hong Kong and Malaysia. Or the Vietnamese ones. Even the Japanese. These do not like jokers or funny, friendly guys, as a rule. These are seen as not worthy of respect. They like sullen- looking, glum and busy fat cats. These will be running business with you, working hard and being happy with you the way you are. You will find no gold diggers among those as a rule- mostly good business partners and good wives. Just make sure you are really successful and are making good money. And working your rear off for 12-15 hours a day.
So, look at your personality and see if you really fit in with the Russian women’s predilections of a man. If not, do yourself a favor- do not waste your time with them. Or waste their time with you, for that matter.
RE: How to score with Russian women and avoid gold diggers
You made very good points and I totally agree with you.
I'm originally from Russia and Russian is my native language.
I'm actually helping many American men find Russian wives using my own very effective system. I find that many Americans have this attitude that they will be doing a girl a favor by bringing her to the US. And I have to explain to them countless times that Russia is not the old USSR and people will not do anything to get out from behind the iron curton to find freedom any more.
Russians, nowdays are free to travel wherever they want. The only reason young single Russian women can not freely come to the USA is because of the USA's immigration policies. The Russian government does not limit their travel in any way!!!
Majority of good, family oriented, honest women will not even look for a foreign husband. They have strong family ties, friends and their career. They also love their culture. You will be taking a woman away from all that if she happens to fall for you. So don't do them any "favors"!
They will be doing you a huge favor by being a real woman for you, not like these American musculan feminist women who totally lost an understanding what a woman should be like
The only thing i can say that learning a foreign language, especially Russian is not an easy task. I happen to study English since I was 7 yo and then attended a "special" English school in Moscow where there was a very strong imphasys on learning English. When I came to America at the age of 19 I still wasn't fluent in English. I can honestly say that it took about 10 years of living in the USA and being married to an American girl since I was 20 to really start understanding American humor, slang and all little intricate details of the language. I should mention that grammatically, Russian is a lot more difficult than English, and to get fluent in Russian will take many years of dedicated studying. Is it worth all this effort if you are bringing your wife to live with you in the USA? I don't think so. She will learn English good enough to communicate within a year. It will still take her years to become totally fluent and start understanding American humor, certain expressions, slang and accents. But if you both are living in the USA it will happen. It won't hurt to learn some Russian words and phrases just to show your wife that you are trying and that will make her feel closer to you.
If any of you, reading this are interested in finding a good, honest, family oriented Russian woman, not a scammer and not a gold digger - I can help. I can also enterpret your correspondence with women, translate phone conversations (you do a 3-way call to me and to her and I will translate in real time) Take a trip to FSU with you and serve as an enterpretor and also help with paperwork for the Fiance (K-1) visa.
I married a Russian girl that I found on line, so I've been through the whole process myself. I've already helped many men do the same.
My website is: www.getrussianwife.com
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