As the title says I am a 26 year old virgin male and I've been wanting to lose my virginity since I was 17. I respect that some people want to remain virgins and and others don't care that they're virgins but it's not how I personally feel.
I have been living at home with my parents since 2005 and I am not in full time employment. I had a spell at university, needless to say I never had sex with anybody. It's a really horrible feeling and the older I get the time seems to fly by quicker. I can see myself remaining a virgin for the rest of my life and it gives me this cold, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel that my youth has gone, not that I am middle aged - just those opportunities of my teens and early twenties are forever lost with my thirties approaching. I admit, I feel envious / jealous when I hear about people's sexual experiences, however bad that may be of me.
I've been thinking I might as well just cut it off because my desire for women just causes me pain. I don't feel that I can attain my desires, I don't have any confidence and (as I have heard so many times before) confidence is key. Maybe I resent that I have to be confident before someone will sleep with me, however self-defeating that may be. I'm quite introverted and guarded in social situations, around people I don't know at least. There was a time when I realized I needed to "put myself out there" but I couldn't think of what to do or where to go really. I live fifteen miles from the nearest city and I don't have my own means of transport but realized that I'd have to either walk for get a taxi home. I went out a couple of times, by myself. The main reason for going by myself was because I have issues with competition. My friends are all more confident and outgoing than me and it's them that get all the attention from the females. I just don't feel that I can compete and I get depressed about it so the only way around this I could think of was to go out by myself. The handful of times I've been out by myself to the city I went to some pubs and clubs but obviously didn't get anywhere. Plus, I felt pathetic, wretched, desperate and out on a limb... the people there were with their friends.
I think there has been a handful of opportunities these last last nine years to have sex but I either didn't play my cards right or I wasn't in the right frame of mind and passed the opportunity by. At times, I was comparing myself to the guys they'd been with previously and I just felt inferior to those men and thought I would not be as good as them in bed. Also, the times when I've been intimate with a woman I've become very nervous and started shaking and my mind kind of foggs over and I can't relax or feel good.
I joined an online dating site and the women there my age are in a completely different place to me, they've had plenty of sex and now they're looking to settle down in a relationship whilst I still haven't even lost my virginity. They're totally against one night stands, casual sex, and given my circumstance I'm not - however sleazy that may sound. I think if I'd had a lot of sex over the years I might be less interested in having sex and more interested in a commited relationship but I haven't and there's just too much I need to get out of my system. I would feel insecure being with someone who had had previous sexual partners because I've had none. I would have to gain some sexual experience before I became involved with someone who was sexually experienced. I'm thinking I'd probably only feel on equal grounds with someone who was as inexperienced as me because then I wouldn't inferior or inadequate.
Russian Women Forum
reserves the right to block, delete, or edit any and all posts. The Moderator has sole discretion on the content of this site. Anyone who posts accepts these terms, and waives any and all rights to bring any legal action against Russian Women Forum. If you disapprove of any of the above, do not use, read, or post in Russian Women Forum