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Author: Wendy99 Subject: HELP! I got caught up in a talk about my salary.
LuckyAmerican
Newbie


Posts: 1
Registered: 11-11-2004
Location:

posted on 11-11-2004 at 17:04 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
HELP! I got caught up in a talk about my salary.

I really hope that there's one or two active people in the newsgroup
who can answer my problem...

I've been corresponding with a Russian woman who found me on a
personals site. It was yahoo personals... not an agency.

Well, we had our first phone call. I'm changing jobs. She asked how
much money the new job pays.... I hesitated then told her $58,000.
She said that that was a lot of money. I said that you have to
remember that the cost of living is higher here. For instance, rent
is higher.

Then we ended our call and I sent her a panicked email to explain that
I didn't mention how much to try and impress her. I also mentioned
that I had intentionally misreported my income as lower than it really
is on the yahoo personals. I said that i did that because here many
women will take advantage of men for money and that I already know
that she's not like that.

I know that saying you can't afford something or that you're saving up
for the trip to russia is a MAJOR faux pas when courting. I didn't do
that, but I feel horrid about having told her how much I make.

This girl is a one in a million match for me and I am freaking out
over whether or not I've just blown the whole thing.

I am now sitting, panicked, by the computer, waiting on a return email and wondering if I blew it.

I know she's not materialistic, I am just paranoid that I may have blown it.

Any ideas on how to patch this up if indeed she was offended? Do you think she was offended?
View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Replies By LuckyAmerican (only searches replies by default, for topics please run another search) U2U Member
m3kid
Newbie


Posts: 1
Registered: 11-20-2004
Location:

posted on 11-21-2004 at 05:46 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator


Hey dude,

Sorry to tell you this; but if you were contacted unsolicited on the Yahoo! Personals from a Russian woman, then you are being set up to be scammed.

Did she forward her picture in the very first e-mail? Was she cute?

A sincere Russian woman looking for a Western man would never ask you how much money you made, at least not in the first few e-mails. How do I know this? From three intense months of reading and studying Russian dating sites finding out who's on the up and up and who are scammers. It's really hard to tell them apart.

If she ever asks you to send her money, then that's it. You're being scammed! Don't do it!

Russian women want "to love and to be loved." They want someone who can support them and a family.

I would be very, very cautious of this encounter.

If you're truly interested in finding a Russian woman, then do an internet search and find a reputable dating/marriage agency.

Don't get too caught up in an unsolicited e-mail.

In Russia, the man is the aggressor, so I find it a bit out of the ordinary for a Russian woman to make the initial contact with you.

Be careful and good luck!

m3kid
View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Replies By m3kid (only searches replies by default, for topics please run another search) U2U Member
ONEGOODLOOKINGTOAD
Newbie


Posts: 7
Registered: 03-18-2005
Location: California - USA

posted on 03-19-2005 at 16:57 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator


Russian people are well known for asking any kind of question in a frank manner. Even the most personal questions are considered fair game.

I have known my fiance for 18 months now and spent 9 days with her early this month and she has never once asked how much money I make, neither has her family.

Such blunt question she asked of you deserves and equally blunt answer:

..."I do not discuss my specific income unless and until we are engaged to be married, if this is a problem I'll understand and will not bother you again"
..."I make more than you. But do not ask me for specifics because I will not give you any of it until we are married"
..."If I could live in Russia with my US salary, I would be a very rich man..:)"

Why are you so worried about what she thinks about your income.
She DID ask the question, didn't she?
I'd worry more about her motives for asking than what she thinks about it, mate

I'd ask her WHY did she ask?

good luck

toad
View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Replies By ONEGOODLOOKINGTOAD (only searches replies by default, for topics please run another search) U2U Member
elvis1
Newbie


Posts: 5
Registered: 05-18-2005
Location:

posted on 05-18-2005 at 15:33 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator


I am engaged to a RW and she has never at any time asked how much money I make. Sure she asked at the start if I could support her if she came here until she found work and that was the end of the matter. On the flip side I have never asked her how much she earns either.

Her family also never asked me about money just what my definititions of a good wife are and were happy to give us their permission and blessing to marry in the summer.

A good RW is more interested in how you treat her than money.

The only women that I have written to who have been interested in money have turned out to be scammers whom I quickly ditched.

Andrew
View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Replies By elvis1 (only searches replies by default, for topics please run another search) U2U Member
Wendy99
Newbie


Posts: 5
Registered: 07-08-2005
Location:

posted on 07-08-2005 at 21:37 Reply With Quote Report Post to Moderator
Elvis

You seem like you are in your honeymoon period.

I will be interested to see what your situation is like in 5 years. I hope we can keep in contact.

I want to conduct research to find out the trends on Russian Mail order Brides. So far I have heard stories, no actual collected data I can analyze and write about.

Good luck. Just make sure you sign a pre-nup. As much as things look good now, Ive heard plenty of stories of Russian Mail order Brides leaving after establishing citizenship. I'm just telling you to be careful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ps. I just read on of your postings. Maybe you do have a unique situation and found yourself a nice Russian Bride, but I find cases like yours RARE and other cases (of leaving)very common.
View User's Profile E-Mail User View All Replies By Wendy99 (only searches replies by default, for topics please run another search) U2U Member
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